As you read this I will be running 5K throwing myself into mud and probably looking an absolute mess, this is all in honour of this little man below Elijah. He is a little superhero who is part of the tiny superhero family. This is a very small charity that helps children who have over come illness or who are still soldiering on through there illness to feel that little bit braver and to bring a little bit of happiness and fun back into each day for them. This little man below has an amazing story he’s not just a tiny superhero to me but also to his amazing mumma Vicki and here she is to tell us why.
When you think of a superhero, what do you think of?
Batman saving Gotham? Superman flying down to save Lois Lane? Wonder woman kicking arse?
A small 2-year-old boy? Probably not.
However, even without the disguise, without changing in a telephone box and no fancy gadgets, there is only one true superhero in my eyes.
It might seem a bit cliché to say my son is my superhero. But, he saved me. He saved me from a deep, dark, ugliness that possessed me. He saved me from depression, anxiety, and mental illness.
He made me see things in a whole new way, he changed my life.
When Elijah was born my fairy tale start to motherhood was taken away. Replaced with days on end in NICU, hospital appointments, all leading us to Elijah needing open heart surgery. Yet, he never once complained, he would still hold my hand just as tight, he would still cuddle into me and always had a smile for me. If he could physically go through something so tough and come out the other side surely I could too?
I tried to take strength from him I did, but I didn’t cope very well. Looking back, I wish I could give myself a kick up the arse. I regret how low I let myself get before getting help. I hope Elijah does not look back on that first year when he is older and feel like I failed him. Of course he probably will not remember, but I still feel I tainted our time.
I look into that little boy’s eyes and realise how lucky we all are. At the age of 6 months Elijah had gone through one of the more aggressive and dangerous operations you can have. He took 5 days to recover in hospital and to return home, even putting weight on in the hospital! I look at the wonder, the innocence, the kindness and gentleness he has for everything and everyone. He wakes up every day and never lets what he has been through affect him, he puts a smile on his face and dives in to have fun.
My outlook on life has always tended to be quite negative. However, Elijah changed this. He made me realise I need to take his lead. I am more positive, I try to show more openness and kindness to others. I think this is a good way to live, I feel happy. Happier than I ever have been. I have an amazing little superhero who has shown bravery, strength and came out the other side without a care in the world. I think a lot of people can learn from this, we may moan when the tube is too busy, when we have to work at the weekend or when the run out of Mango Coolers at Costa. But, we are so amazingly lucky. Unless you have been through it, you will never truly know what it is like to hold your child as he is put to sleep not knowing whether you will ever see him alive again. That when you get the call 5 hours later it could be the surgeon saying your son is dead. I have learnt to appreciate everything that little bit more after going through something like that.
Superhero’s tend to wear a disguise, I want my child to know he is a superhero every day, in plain sight. No disguise needed. I want him to wear his scar with pride. He doesn’t need to hide behind a mask he is everything a superhero is. He is strong, he is brave, and most of all he saves others. He saved me. I will never be able to repay him for how he changed my life. Not just for being my son, and bringing unconditional love into my life, for changing it. For saving me in a way he will not understand until he is older. For inspiring me every day, for installing a fierceness in me that I never had. A confidence to never let anyone de value me as a woman, as a mother, as a human. He has taught me so much, in such a short time.
He made me realise I had to change, I couldn’t carry on, I had to snap out of it as I couldn’t pass these bad habits and choices onto him. I have to be a good example to him. As for what he has achieved in just 2 years, and the impact he has had on our lives, what will he achieve in the next 18?
As far as superheroes are concerned, I have my very own tiny superhero right by my side ready to take my hand and save me.